Friday, September 28, 2007

PANACEA IN A PILL?

Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary defines Panacea as a remedy for all ills or difficulties: a cure all. Does a panacea really exist? If so, can it really be found in a pill? I have suffered from anxiety for a long time, most noticeably over the last couple of years. Finally, my physician prescribed Lexapro for me about 4 months ago. Along with the medication, I have also been going to a counselor and reading a book on dealing with anxiety.

Here’s my confession: 4 months ago, I wanted to die. I felt like I was at the end of my rope. I was in desperate need of a panacea. I was dealing with moderate to severe anxiety which was manifesting itself as pain in so many places in my body. Today, 4 months later, my anxiety level appears to be under control for the first time in as long as I can remember. Is it because of the pill? Is it because of the book, the counseling, a combination of the three? I don’t know. What I do know is that I am blessed to be surrounded by a great and loving support system of friends who have been there for me through this journey. I can tell a difference, as can the others in my life, how I am dealing with the stresses and anxieties that haunt me.

Have I truly found my panacea? I can’t say for certain. What I can say is that I am enjoying the peaceful feeling I have in my life. I’m enjoying learning how to deal with myself. I know that at any time the anxiety could rear its ugly head again. Whether or not I have found my panacea or if the anxiety is just lying there dormant, whether or not it’s because of the medication, counseling, or friends I know that I’m going to be ok. I have a significant part of my life back. And that is worth everything in the world to me.