Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary defines Panacea as a remedy for all ills or difficulties: a cure all. Does a panacea really exist? If so, can it really be found in a pill? I have suffered from anxiety for a long time, most noticeably over the last couple of years. Finally, my physician prescribed Lexapro for me about 4 months ago. Along with the medication, I have also been going to a counselor and reading a book on dealing with anxiety.
Here’s my confession: 4 months ago, I wanted to die. I felt like I was at the end of my rope. I was in desperate need of a panacea. I was dealing with moderate to severe anxiety which was manifesting itself as pain in so many places in my body. Today, 4 months later, my anxiety level appears to be under control for the first time in as long as I can remember. Is it because of the pill? Is it because of the book, the counseling, a combination of the three? I don’t know. What I do know is that I am blessed to be surrounded by a great and loving support system of friends who have been there for me through this journey. I can tell a difference, as can the others in my life, how I am dealing with the stresses and anxieties that haunt me.
Have I truly found my panacea? I can’t say for certain. What I can say is that I am enjoying the peaceful feeling I have in my life. I’m enjoying learning how to deal with myself. I know that at any time the anxiety could rear its ugly head again. Whether or not I have found my panacea or if the anxiety is just lying there dormant, whether or not it’s because of the medication, counseling, or friends I know that I’m going to be ok. I have a significant part of my life back. And that is worth everything in the world to me.
THE ORGAN
THE PIANO
THE CONFESSIONAL
BIOGRAPHY
- r. keller thomas
- Birmingham, AL
- was born and raised in a small East Tennessee town. I graduated from college with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Music, with voice as my primary instrument. However, the piano has always been my first love. Most of my adult life has been spent a church pianist /keyboardist/ vocalist living in Alabama. Today, I'm in my 40s, on a Journey and currently residing in Nashville, TN. In addition to growing as a vocalist and keyboard musician, I have a fascination with language and grammar.
3 comments:
Do you have to brag? Just kidding. I am so happy that you are feeling better. Maybe I will join you soon in that blissful place...if I don't pass out. Way to go people!
You are the hottest Sunday Morning Organist that I know. Mainly because, in fact, I am a Sunday Morning PIANINST- so there is room in this world for the both of us. Your work is brilliant- do more!
~Hh
Hey there brothah! I'm glad you're doing better and have found ya some peace! I never had any idea that you were so anxiety-ridden (but I DO remember what your job is like, and I was pretty anxious in that position my own self!). I encountered a lot of stresses from back in the day, even a few that did not directly involve me. And I went to a counselor, too, and yakked to a few of my long-suffering friends, and just kind of muddled through. Tried one pill, but it made things worse for me so I decided to go a different route, which for me is being out in nature as much as I can.
I just can't tell you what a difference it makes! Out in the woods is where I see the mark of the Maker best, and it's where I find my peace (especially mountain biking!!). It's different for us all, I think, but whatever it is that gets you to the point where you don't feel overcome by anxieties and worries, or fear or sadness or any other feeling that leads you to a bad place where you can get lost---whatever cures that and frees you from it is a good thing! So keep on doing it! (And my personal opinion is that it's a combination of things that is helping you. That's how it was for me, anyhow. And the more elements make up that combination, the better off you are I think.)
Take care man! Sorry for the long-winded comment, but you *said* you like getting comments! LOL! You know I can *LEAVE* some comments! I'm a comment MACHINE, bro! ;~D
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