PEACE

As I lie here tonight, listening to relaxing music on Sunset Cruise, Sirius Out Q’s love songs and dedications show for the GLBT community, I find myself in such a peaceful place. Sure, there are many things on my mind, many things in my life needing attention, but in general, I am honestly feeling peaceful tonight. It doesn’t matter to me that I’ve procrastinated most of the last week away, that Parker and I are avoiding important conversations with one another, that I’m struggling to find my direction in this world at the moment, nor does it matter that other relationships--both familial relationships and relationships with colleagues, in particular, are in need of mending.

This peaceful place in which I am finding myself is somewhat out of the blue. Although I have my anxieties under control for the most part, it is still such a new feeling for me, that it always surprises me when I arrive at a place of relaxation in my life. I know that I have people in my life who genuinely care about me, and that makes a huge difference in to me. I have people who are there to remind me to not take myself too seriously and to keep me grounded. When I look at the place I was, at least mentally and emotionally, a year ago, and where I am today, I am proud of the progress I’ve made.

Yesterday morning I awoke to something very uncommon here in Alabama—Snow. In my nearly ten years of living here, I think I have only seen snow maybe three times or four and none of these times have been major, and neither was yesterday’s snow, having been less than a couple of inches. However, what a beautiful picture it made of my neighborhood. Snow itself evokes images of peaceful times.

Here’s my confession: I must learn to slow down, take each day one day at a time, one step at a time and learn that everything is going to fall into place. There will be a natural ebb and flow to life, there will be peaks and valleys. Eventually the things that need to fall into place for the relationships in my life that need healing, questions will all find answers and I’ll find the right path for me. Sure, all of this will take work on my part, but if I can just learn to not expect it all to happen at once, how many more experiences of peace I’ll have along the way.

Peace is a state we all hope to achieve. I’m here tonight. I don’t know how long the feeling will last, but I am certainly going to enjoy it while it’s here. As I prepare for an evening of restful sleep, my prayer is that, you, my dear reader, will experience peace in your own life.