THOUGHTS ON SINGLEHOOD

I am single. That’s not really news. It’s been that way for some time now. However, I’m becoming more and more comfortable with that status as time goes along. While I’ve officially been single since January, the transition to singlehood began about a year ago. The very thought of being single was anxiety-provoking. The idea of being alone was absolutely unfathomable, after all, I’m co-dependant, right? I can’t make it on my own. That was then.

This is now. I’ve “dated” a little in the last few months, but nothing serious, regardless of how “serious” I’ve tried to make it. You see, I’ve had a bit of an epiphany in the last few weeks as I’ve thought about it. Being single isn’t a bad thing. When I “suddenly” became single a number of months ago, my friends advised me to take a six month hiatus. Spend some time getting to be comfortable with me. I thought that was absurd. Now, in hindsight, I think it’s a brilliant idea. I thought “that’s too difficult”. Not so. I’m getting used to it.

Here’s my confession: As I’m getting used to being single, I’m getting more and more comfortable with who I am. I’m in no hurry to rush to another relationship. When, and if, another relationship is to happen, it will happen in time. And, if I’ve already met Mr. Right, then, if he’s really Mr. Right, he’ll still be there when I’m comfortable with myself. I’m leaning that truly I can’t love anyone else until I fully love myself. While in the entanglement of a relationship, I was not able to see some of the things that were clearly going on that were unhealthy for me on multiple levels. I lose myself way too easily. So, bottom line here-I’m comfortable with myself and I’m getting more comfortable every day. And, as I approach my birthday in a few days, one of the many things I’ll be celebrating is my growth and the peace I’m finding in independence.