VACATION DAY 1

Today was my first official day of vacation. I spent it in the presence of very dear friends, thought very little about work (that’s the purpose of a vacation, right?) and had an absolutely enjoyable day of entertainment at an amusement park.

While I’m on vacation, I can’t leave every single thought about my life behind, though I can leave most everything behind. There are a number of things that have weighed heavily on my mind in these last few days. In addition to my faith, which I wrote about earlier in the week, I’ve been thinking about myself as a single person. I made this same vacation trip a year ago. Just comparing the person I am today with the person I was then is astonishing. Fundamentally, I’m the same person, but deep down, there are some concrete changed of which I’m just so proud. I’m becoming more assertive, more focused, more of the person I want to be.

Being out of the entanglement of a relationship is an absolute blessing. Honestly, I have only myself to answer to at this point in my life, though I feel a need to be accountable to my friends. I may or may not take their advice (which, 99.999% of the time is what I should do in the first place), I am free to make my own mistakes, to learn my own lessons. That’s an absolutely positive experience for me.

Someday, in the not too distant future, I am hoping that the house will sell, and that I’ll be able to truly move on with life. I’ll be able to fully devote myself to hopes and dreams, obligations, friendships, and, maybe someday, probably when I least expect it, but hopefully a while down the road, I’ll open this heart and life up to someone else.

Here’s my confession: Looking honestly at where my journey has brought me thus far is incredible. The “down time” that I’ve had this week, and the opportunity to spend time with people who know me and love me the most has provided me with an absolutely priceless opportunity to pause, get away from my daily routine and focus on steering my life more in the right direction. I am blessed to have people in my life who don’t sugar coat what they think I should do, people who know my weaknesses as well or better than I, people who look at the whole picture while I am only able to look at chunks.

I’m so at a loss for words right now as I move forward. I have a long way to go. But, with each new dawn comes the opportunity to move a step or two closer to the hopes and dreams I’m now defining for myself. In the coming days, I’ll be breaking these hopes and dreams down to share with you.