CONFESSIONS FROM THE BATHTUB

That title may be a little bit of a tease and sound a lot more erotic than it actually is, but the title came to me as I was in the tub tonight.

The last two nights I have taken a soak in the tub, along with the jets and bubbles, in an attempt to relax. It was my attempt to steal away from the incessant cry of a neurotic cat, to escape the bills waiting for me to pay them, thoughts of chores needing doing, little things here and there that pass through my mind and seemingly a million other little things. Unfortunately, I haven’t been very successful in my endeavor to relax. I haven’t been able to still my mind from the things awaiting me after I finish. Instead, my thoughts seem to know I’m taking a bath—that I’m attempting to relax and they think it’s time for them to follow me to the bathtub. I’ve been inundated with a plethora of spiritual questions, questions of when the house is going to finally sell, why the cat insists on demonstrating his displeasures in the most annoying ways, where my life is headed, what I want to be when I grow up, if I've made the right decision about this or that or the other. Stealing away for stillness just hasn't been very successful.

Here’s my confession: One day, I hope that I’ll be able to take a bath, fully and completely relaxed. It’s one of my favorite things (see an upcoming blog of other favorite things). I just long for the stillness that I was hoping a nice tub bath would provide. I’ve spent 99.999 percent of my week absolutely inexplicably exhausted. I haven't any get up and go, and frankly, if I’m being completely honest, in a lot of ways "my give a damn" is busted. I’m sure that this, too, shall pass, but having just come back from a vacation only two weeks ago, I feel another week or two is needed. Surely, somewhere, beyond the cries of the neurotic cat, the thoughts of how, when and which bills are going to be paid, when I’ll be able to pack up my belongings and move there must be some place where stillness and peace are found. I’ll keep looking, you keep reading!