THE MAN IN THE MIRROR

There is a man in the mirror looking back at me each time I take a glance. He’s gone through a lot, has a lot to look forward to, and has certainly grown a lot. But the man in the mirror is empty. He’s empty, he’s hungry, he’s searching. He’s searching for his soul. He’s searching for love and desperately trying to hang on to the things he already has. You see, the man in the mirror has gone through a great deal of self-awareness and awakening. Perhaps it’s the medication, the counseling or a combination of both, but the man looking back at me in the mirror, he’s found a sense of self, a shred of independence and aspirations for the future he would have never thought to fathom even as little as a year and a half or two years ago. It’s brought him a tremendous amount of freedom but also made him feel alone and alienated from others in his life. He has his stable friends. He has his friendships that have certainly seen their fair share of testing. He’s also got a relationship which is in a major rut, but no idea how to get out of it. He’s got a fine house, nice possessions. He has, by all accounts, everything going for him. He has a nice job, a few close friends who truly care about him. He is truly and completely blessed.

Here’s my confession: I am the man in the mirror. In spite of my many blessings, there are more questions than answers, more fear than peace, there are friendships that have certainly hit bumps in the road. One friend is jealous of another friend. I come home and the cats are chasing one another. And my partner and I just had a heavy discussion about where things are headed. Again, more questions than answers. So much uncertainty. There’s a man in the mirror looking back at me each time I take a glance. I’ve no doubt that man is going to get just a little bit better as time goes on and works out the plan for the future. However, in the waiting, it takes an enormous amount of energy-energy that is waning at best, and a mixed bag of excitement and anxiousness to see what the man in the mirror becomes.