I'm sorry. I wasn't strong enough back then to see just how weak I was. I was needy and you needed someone to need. We were the perfect match. We were blinded by bliss, blown away by our bond, persuaded by passion. But, bliss faded to boredom, the bond became brokenness and passion turned pale. Just when it seemed all the pieces of the puzzle were going to fit, there was a missing piece neither of us could find. Oh, how we searched for that missing piece. We looked high and low, but it could not be found. So, we drifted, farther and farther apart. I needed help, for I was sinking away and could no longer identify myself. I got some help. Now my reflection is different. I'm stronger, more self-reliant, and more confident. Yet, I'm scared, as I know you are. More questions remain than answers and neither of us wants to hurt the other. We want, more than anything, a sense of peace, a hint of happiness and courage to face the tomorrows.
Oh, it's taken years, but I am starting to see who I am. Our time together has not been in vain, for we've shared so many memories—memories we will carry throughout our lives. Our love was meant to be, if not forever, then for a season. We are at a crossroads, a transition, a transformation. Standing here on the axis, it is difficult to see which direction to go. But, go, we will, and all will be well. All will be well, be we together or apart.
Here's my confession: My love for you may change, but it will never end. Our lives may go in different directions, but here, in my heart, is the place where you reside, and there's no taking that away from me. This phase of the journey may be complete, yet the time to fly is drawing neigh. The truth will set us free. Free to love, free to live and free to explore who we are. I'm stronger now. I am grateful for your support. All I truly want is to know that you are at peace, happy and contented with all you do, and, that, in turn, will bring me peace.
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3 comments:
I think that that's all any of us want-the knowledge that we've made a difference in someone's life-especially someone who has meant a great deal to us. Then, and only then, can we move on. In Peace. That's the key. For both of you to find peace with what you had and the truth that it's probably changing form. You can never forget, you can be grateful for what you gleaned from the experience, keep caring differently and, again, find peace with change.
This really touched me. Your deep honesty and caring is tangible here.
I can totally appreciate all that you have said here, for in a way, it mirrors my own experiences in my marraige. I gave up so much of myself trying to make my husband happy that I forgot to be myself, neglected to assert myself, and lost all sense of myself along the way. (Does that make me selfless??) (hmmm...) I remember looking in the mirror, faced with a person that outwardly didn't even resemble me. My spark was gone, my spunk dissapeared, the exciting juice of my life evaporated. My husband felt perectly happy because I ended up giving up myself to be his everything. When I did change and assert myself he couldn't handle or appreciate that, and thus the friction that drove us apart began. I will always love him, and I hope for nothing less than his happiness and contentment, for I am now off to find my own, stronger, (scared too) but ready. Good luck to you, and kudos on coming to this realization. It is easy to feel, but often VERY HARD to act upon! (Blog Novella #1)
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