TIME TO THINK

I had a lot of time to think yesterday. I drove to Nashville for my annual post-Christmas celebration with my best friend and his wife, who live in Kentucky. Nashville is a more or less half-way point for both of us and has become a tradition for us. It was a little more than three hours each way for me, so I had a good amount of time to think and listen to music.

Most of my time on the trip up was spent listening to the Sirius (satellite radio) New Country Top 30 Countdown. Afterwards, I did something I must admit I haven’t done in a long time. I prayed. I mean actually spoke to God in a way I haven’t in quite some time. Certainly, there are many ways of praying, such as singing, writing letters to God, meditating, singing, playing an instrument. But this time was different. I actually took my thoughts, concerns and gratitude to God through a spoken prayer. It was such a peaceful time, although I felt at times that I was babbling, I took comfort in the fact that God knows what I’m trying to say even when I struggle to articulate my thoughts.

After arriving in Nashville, my friends and I visited and dined on a wonderful meal at The Rainforest Café, then walked around the Opry Mills Mall. The whole day was a great departure from the day-to-day routine.

As I drove back home, I listened to a little more music and it seemed in some ways, that the music was speaking right to the things I had been thinking about all day long. Where am I headed professionally, personally, and what is the status of my relationship? While I certainly don’t have all the answers yet, the stillness and alone time really helped to clear my mind.

Here’s my confession: I don’t know what my future really holds. There are far more questions than answers, but somehow, someway, I feel a good deal of peace. I believe with patience that all things will become clear, that I will understand the path I am to take to achieve things which lay ahead of me.

Maybe I keep rambling about all of these things in my life. If so, I apologize. The truth is the are just so many things going on in my life, that I don’t really know where to begin. At times that simple truth is discouraging to me. I’m scared, but I try not to let it show, but there, I said it. I’m scared. I’m scared of the unknown. I’m scared of changing too much. I’m scared of getting in way over my head (if I haven’t already). The things that will get me through this experience in my life is the wonderful encouragement of my dear friends, my confidence in myself and my faith in the direction and power of prayer in my life.