Finding balance. That's my new goal. In the last year of my life I've gone from being a virtual hermit to blossoming into a social butterfly; from being an extreme introvert to tapping into my more extroverted side. I've gone from having nothing to do to suddenly having lots to do. It's all part of the growth process I've gone through, and I won't complain, because I have a far richer life today than I did a year ago.
The problem is that my life is out of balance. I'm constantly on the go. I'm going from rehearsal to rehearsal, dinner to dinner and added to all that the responsibilities of maintaining my home, caring for my cats and maintaining relationships. I must admit, I'm really not doing a very good job of balancing all the things on my plate. I try to please everyone in my life, try to accommodate all that is asked of me. While I've learned the art of saying "no" to some parts of my life, I haven't learned to do it so well in others. This causes conflict with people in my life and within my own self. Sometimes I want to just "be". Sometimes I want to just be able to sit down for hours on end and play the piano...to really hone my skill. Sometimes I do want to be with friends. Sometimes I want to be alone. I have to strike that magical balance between pleasing others and pausing to do the things that I need to do for me.
I have to learn that just because I'm not at every gathering of my friends, that the world isn't going to stop spinning, the friendships aren't going to disappear and that actually taking time for me—totally for me—is not selfish. Taking time to recharge, re-energize, to regroup is not a bad thing. In fact, it's the healthiest thing I can do for myself.
Here’s my confession: I’ve always been a bit of a loner. I grew up as an only child. And now, as I’ve discovered new areas of my life, developed new friendships, it’s difficult to break out of old habits and want to be with my friends all of the time. It’s a real struggle for me, because what I really, really want is a balance in all the areas of my life. I’m growing and learning to stop and take care of what matters. As a natural introvert, I have to take time away and just relax in the ways that will allow me to recharge. Balance will come soon.
The problem is that my life is out of balance. I'm constantly on the go. I'm going from rehearsal to rehearsal, dinner to dinner and added to all that the responsibilities of maintaining my home, caring for my cats and maintaining relationships. I must admit, I'm really not doing a very good job of balancing all the things on my plate. I try to please everyone in my life, try to accommodate all that is asked of me. While I've learned the art of saying "no" to some parts of my life, I haven't learned to do it so well in others. This causes conflict with people in my life and within my own self. Sometimes I want to just "be". Sometimes I want to just be able to sit down for hours on end and play the piano...to really hone my skill. Sometimes I do want to be with friends. Sometimes I want to be alone. I have to strike that magical balance between pleasing others and pausing to do the things that I need to do for me.
I have to learn that just because I'm not at every gathering of my friends, that the world isn't going to stop spinning, the friendships aren't going to disappear and that actually taking time for me—totally for me—is not selfish. Taking time to recharge, re-energize, to regroup is not a bad thing. In fact, it's the healthiest thing I can do for myself.
Here’s my confession: I’ve always been a bit of a loner. I grew up as an only child. And now, as I’ve discovered new areas of my life, developed new friendships, it’s difficult to break out of old habits and want to be with my friends all of the time. It’s a real struggle for me, because what I really, really want is a balance in all the areas of my life. I’m growing and learning to stop and take care of what matters. As a natural introvert, I have to take time away and just relax in the ways that will allow me to recharge. Balance will come soon.
2 comments:
Balancing all the things vying daily for our attention can be the most difficult of things to handle. The most important thing to remember is that no matter how much we may want to we cannot be all things for all people. To protect our own mental sanity we have to learn that there are times it is ok to say no. Just as long as we keep our no's balanced so that there isn't one area of our life that gets neglected. I have complete confidence that you will find your balance.
One thing that I found while learning this same balancing act was that if I designated a day each week for myself it helped. So let's say you look at your calendar for next week, and so far you have nothing planned for Wednesday - now you do - you schedule yourself in there. Now if someone asks, your response is, "sorry, I've already made plans for that evening." Stick to it - wouldn't a friend be upset with you if you made plans to spend time with him/her and then you broke them for something else? Be your own friend and don't break your plans with yourself.
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