All of my life, I've viewed myself as nothing more than average. Growing up, I was (or at least I felt like I was) always average or slightly below. Elementary school was one of the most boring experiences of my life, I believe. When I got to Junior High school, I once made the A/B honor roll. Wow! In high school, I had a goal to be a member of the Beta club. I was always just a few points away from being able to be a member. It wasn't for lack of trying, that's for sure. I tried and tried so hard. Maybe I tried too hard. Then comes college. College wasn't too bad. I admit I didn't choose a college to challenge me academically. My college was, in fact, a glorified high school with college courses in some regards. I was an average student. Yet, I came out of college not with a lot of classroom knowledge, but rather a lot of interpersonal experiences. Now, nearly 10 years after college I finished college and armed with a Bachelor of Arts degree, I find myself asking...what did I learn in college?
Here's my confession: I have an insatiable thirst for knowledge these days. It's something I've rarely, if ever, experienced before. I want so badly to be able to go to school and study something. I can't really afford to go back to school at this point. But, someday, I shall return for another degree. I really want those little letters before my name "Dr." before I die.
In the meantime, I'm doing some self-studies online. I'm focusing on brushing up on and expanding my knowledge of French. After that, I am going to focus on Spanish. I have a goal of achieving fluency in both languages by the time I reach 40, so I have a little more than half a decade left to achieve that goal. Maybe by that time, I will have decided what I want to study when I head back to college for a Master's, and ultimately, a doctorate.
Why do I want to go back to school so badly? I suppose it's multi-faceted. It's a self-esteem thing, to prove to myself that I can; It's to perhaps have greater opportunities in my life; and, now that I am older, I feel that I would be more focused than I was in college for my Bachelor's degree. While attaining my Bachelor's degree, I gained a lot of knowledge about who I am and where I fit in. Now, I feel, it's time to grow more intellectually. With age has come maturity and with maturity has come the desire to succeed beyond my wildest expectations.
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2 comments:
Wow! That is impressive. I too long to have the letters Dr. before my name as in Dr. and Mrs.
(har har)
its strange that you see your college so. having attended the same school, i felt that i left with an amazing education. true, we had vastly different degrees, but the professors in my major really were top notch. i've read through the MIT open courseware (interesting site) and nothing i read in those class notes was not taught to me in my college classes.
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