November is the month many Christian groups traditionally set aside to remember the dead. What happens when we die? Where do we go? Where is Heaven? Where is Hell? Do either really exist? These are probing and prolific questions to which we can only theorize an answer. Death is the great uniting force. Regardless of our culture, religious practices, whether we are young or old, rich or poor, it is the one thing that every single being is certain to experience. It is an experience that will ONLY happen once. Although some have had near-death experiences, and their experiences all seem very similar, none of us truly knows what happens after we die.
The study of death and dying, known as Thanatology, offers insight into how we die, however, offers no concrete evidence as to what we experience post-mortem. Terminally ill patients often die in a very similar manner, actually, some might say, choosing the time of their death-perhaps they are waiting for a loved one to come, a holiday or special occasion to finish, but they know, on some level, when their time has come to die. Hospice workers are trained to look for signs in the patients under their care, and can often predict within a number of days, and sometimes, even down to the hour of death.
Here's my confession: Death is incredibly fascinating to me. A subject many find morbid and disturbing, death, to me is a great mystery. What really happens to us when we die? Are we aware of the goings- on here on earth? Is death an ending, a beginning or just a continuation? Is not death just a part of life? Looking at this from a Christian perspective, we are given broad and sweeping descriptions of the afterlife, but are these descriptions purely allegorical or are they literal? It's all a matter of interpretation, I surmise. There are probably as many interpretations of the after-life as there are people. I have lost some very dear loved ones to death, and I think of them often. I wonder where they are, if they can see me, what "life" is like for them. Death is many things. Certainly, death is the ultimate in finality. Saying a final farewell to someone we love is never easy. Yet, there is a beauty and peace in death to which nothing compares. From a very young age, I was exposed to death. In fact, one of my favorite past times as a child was to visit cemeteries with my grandparents. I have found very few places on earth where there is as much serenity and peace as there is in a cemetery. And, so, as you pause this month to remember your beloved dead this month, do you, as I, wonder where they are?
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I think of Death and Dying more than I should, perhaps. Once I had children it became all that much more important NOT to leave this planet before THEY were ready for me to go. Everything became bigger than me, due to these two boys. There just has to be more than this life. It doesn't make logical sense to me that this would be it-although, if it is, it's really ok with me, too. I wonder about my grandmother on my dad's side. The cellist. Sweet woman I never really knew as a person, just as my grandmother. I'd love to meet her again. My uncle who died at 49. He made us feel special, even as kids. His death, when I was 14, was the first "close to home" death I experienced. All of these people who helped to form who I am-I'm grateful, and I'd like to say "thanks." Relationships that death seems to sever. If there is no heaven or hell, the ideas of them help me with how I live everyday. It helps to lessen the fears of death, as it makes me more accountable for the choices I make. I try to be kind. I try and be truthful. I try to be generous and loving. Even if it's not Karma I'm earning, I'm a happier person for it, although constantly challenged to change my ways-ironic, isn't it? The messages I receive are "Don't be like you are-be silent and deceitful-it'll all go easier for you here..." Anyway-I'm rambling...it's off to sleep to dream of what's next...
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