I suppose deep down, I've always known that I'd be living in a city. I'm just not meant for the small town kind of life. I imagined living in some high-rise apartment overlooking a bustling city below. I'd be living a very cosmopolitan type of life.
Here's my confession: Life's realities often have a way of converting our dreams and visions into something quiet different. I had never sat foot in Alabama until a college choir trip brought me here in 1996. Even then, I didn't realize that our first stop on the tour, Birmingham, would one day be home. No, I don't live in a high-rise apartment building overlooking the bustling city, the life I live is hardly the image of "cosmopolitan" I had envisioned in my mind, and professionally speaking, I would have never thought I would be traveling the avenue I've traveled for nearly a decade.
Life is an ever-evolving process. Maybe I haven't yet arrived at my ultimate destiny. I remain open to what lies ahead. I feel I am on the brink of a personal metamorphisis. I've just been along for the ride up to this point. There are things I'm ready and willing to change, yet others I'm hopeful will remain the same. Only time will tell the ultimate outcome. But, as time has shown in the past, there's just no predicting the twists and turns along the journey's way.
2 comments:
Dreams have a way of morphing into something we just didn't plan for...We're the ones who have trouble with the "fluidity" of our lives. My problem was that when my dreams changed, it was totally unexpected, although I'm sure that those outside of me saw that what I was aiming towards wasn't at all towards what I was calling my Dream. I thought that what I wanted was to be an actress. I was better at directing. NO one came out and TOLD me that, but I was steered that way. By the time I realized that I just hated the politics and the absolute fakeness of the BUSINESS of theatre, I became pregnant with my first, fabulous son. Everything changed. I think I'm still trying to find new dreams, and he's 14. I'm trying to find a fit. Without something to aim towards, I end to drift. Drifting is pretty empty. I look for challenges every day. I try and create something, art, happiness, something every single day. On the days I make it, it's a great thing. I don't always, then I back up and re-group. I don't want to be 89 and have incredible regrets. Nothing worse, I think. It's difficult enough now. Gotta keep reaching.
WHAT?!!! I THOUGHT WE WERE STILL PLANNING TO BE NEIGHBORS ON THE BEACH IN SOUTH CAROLINA!! There goes my dreams...
Love ya!
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