LOVE, LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME!

As I announced in my last blog, there’s a new relationship in my life. There I was, just going along with the flow of life, and out of the blue, there it came. This wasn’t supposed to happen this soon. But, happen it did. And, then, unexpectedly my life turned into this love song. It’s been a roller coaster of emotion.

After my break-up earlier this year, I had thought maybe I would never love again. I wasn’t sure I wanted to put myself out there, to take that risk. Then I started dating a little here and there. I took a little time to get to know myself better. Still, it wasn’t supposed to happen this soon—or was it? Serendipity took over. And now, I’m looking at a life I never imagined.

It has been said that every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. How true that is. A year ago I was struggling in a relationship that just wasn’t working. Parker and I were barely hanging on. Then, the first of the year came along and shortly after we ended the relationship. A learning experience, for sure, the entire five years we spent together. The months that followed the break-up were a learning experience as well, as I learned to live with and get to know myself all over again.

In August, I made the bravest step of the entire year by joining the Magic City Choral Society. I began to see a wider social circle for myself. There were friends out there I never expected to make. Relationships I never expected to forge. I was content with my evenings practicing piano, petting the cats and watching DVDs of The Golden Girls. Life had something else in mind. Now, my social life has exploded, and a now a real, genuine, loving relationship is emerging.

Here’s my confession: I’ve spent the last couple of weeks questioning if I’ve moved too fast, if this is REALLY love, if I’m just crazy, and on and on and on. However, tonight, as I was driving down the interstate, I realized I can’t control what’s going on. Love is not a rational emotion. Love is something you have to just experience. It has ups and downs, highs and lows. So, even though there are many questions in my heart and mind right now, the best thing I can possibly do is just go along for the ride, to live in the now. Wherever the road takes Lane and me, we’re going to go together. The lines of communication are strong, our fears and concerns are out in the open and, our relationship is a blank canvas, waiting to be filled with many vibrant hues. I have someone who loves me, adores me, and understands me. How could I possibly allow myself to doubt that or fear to cloud the experience? I can’t. I’ll remind myself of that as we snuggle up to one another, and even as moments of difficulty creep in.