REPUTATION

There’s something priceless that we all possess, something that we must guard with all our might…and I’ve learned this the hard way in the last week or so. It’s our reputation.

It doesn’t matter who we are, it only takes one little thing taken out of context, one little misstep, a single, solitary transgression to blow a lifetime of good. It only takes one person to spread a rumor, to tell an untruth about us, and we’re tarnished goods.

Innocent comments, voiced without filtering through the rational mind can cause irreparable damage to friendships. One wrong step and there goes a whole relationship. Sometimes our senses of humor are not in sync, and that causes trouble. Our words and actions just come across completely wrong. We naively step out and trust someone with a deep, dark secret, a deep, dark activity in which we engage and they betray that trust by telling those who know us…and our reputation is smeared. It’s not fair. We finally open up and show a side of ourselves that nobody else has ever seen, and someone finds fault with it, and that’s where our story begins. It’s where our story ends.

I’ve recently come out of a short-term relationship. I admittedly did some wrong things in that brief four-month stretch of time. I did things of which I’m even shamed to confess. The bright spot in the whole mess is that I confessed these transgressions with Lane, and after the anger had subsided, grace, and forgiveness were extended to me. Unfortunately, that is not always the easiest position to be in, either as recipient or the one extending that mercy.

Here’s my confession: I’ve learned the hard way just how precious a reputation is. I’ve learned that while trying true to my true self, I have to filter my thoughts, and watch my actions, because people are watching me. One little accidental misstep in front of the wrong person and you are toast. I’m even more aware of the importance of reputation now because I am President of the Gay Men’s Chorus. As President, I’m aware that the things I say and do in my public and private life have a reflection on the whole organization. I have to keep in mind that people are always watching my words, my actions and everything I do, but not just me, we are always watching one another and, whether we are knowingly doing it or not, we are passing judgments on one another’s reputations.