TORN

I find my self a bit torn these recent days. I’m torn in many directions: work, financially, socially, emotionally, spiritually and the list just goes on. A lot has happened in my life over the last several weeks. A relationship has ended, friendships thrive. In many ways I’ve never been happier, in other ways I just want to find a way out of this swirling pit of confusion.

Parker and I have been in talks lately of trading places with his current boyfriend, Richard. If only we can work out a mutually beneficial financial plan, this will be the perfect solution to my housing dilemma. Granted, I have a roof over my head and am safe and warm, but the truth of the matter is that I have way too much house for me and two cats. I'd love to be closer in to the city, where I can be more conveniently located to friends and other activities. We just have to find the magic number and work out a reasonable solution before we make a huge leap.

I’m torn emotionally because I’m trying to come to grips with, and reconcile the relationship with Lane. There were plenty of mistakes on my part, yet he’s approached me with the grace and love of a friend.

Here’s my confession: Although I feel torn in so many different situations and directions, there is a sense of inner peace, flowing from somewhere beyond me. I’m grateful for the many gifts and blessings in my life. I’m coming to grips with the mistakes I’ve made along this road. I know not to fret, because in the end, I know that all will be well. Healing has already begun in the aftermath of the breakup of the relationship with Lane. Parker and I will work out a deal with Richard. This is just a phase, a stop on the path of life. Peace is just around the corner, and I can see it in the distance. Oh, and peace, sweet gentle peace will replace confusion, frustration and fear.