PLACE IN THIS WORLD

“The wind is moving But I am standing still A life of pages Waiting to be filled A heart that's hopeful I head that's full of dreams But this becoming Is harder than it seems Feels like I'm Looking for a reason Roamin' for the night to find My place in this world My place in this world Not a lot to lean on I need your light to help me find My place in this world My place in this world” -Michael W. Smith

It is hard to believe that it has been almost 18 years since I stood before my graduating class and sang Michael W. Smith’s “Place in This World” for our baccalaureate service. I thought I had it all figured out back then. I was going to college, I was going to become a teacher and I’d be back in a few years at that same school teaching music and foreign language. The only part of that scenario that happened is that I went to college and got a degree in music. There were no teaching credentials, no mastery of any foreign language.

Instead, I found myself post-graduation moving to Birmingham, Alabama. I instantly fell in love with this place I have now called home for the last twelve years of my life. I’ve been going to the same job the entire time I’ve been here. My “day job” has nothing to do with music.

Lately, I’ve done a lot of thinking about what my place in this world truly is. The most comforting part of my journey is that I know today that I am not alone. In the last couple of years, I’ve been blessed with many people to accompany on the journey. I have friends—true and loving friends—who support me and give me thoughts on life. I think I’m in a transitional place. If someone had told me as recently as two years ago that I’d be where I am today, I’m not certain that I would have believed them.

Here’s my confession: I do often feel that the wind is moving, but I am standing still. I feel like there are many chapters left to be written. I’m just waiting on the opportunity to pursue those dreams that are still in my heart. I firmly believe that every single, minute detail of our lives is orchestrated in a way to lead us to the next step in life. Whether the next step is a new career, a new relationship or something else, I am ready to discover my place in this world. I’m looking for a reason, roaming through the night to find my place in this world. It’s frustrating as hell sometimes because I want to just get a glimpse of the vision RIGHT NOW. But, patience is part of the process in finding my place. It seems that I am, in many ways right back where I was eighteen years ago. Now, I’m just trusting in the hand of providence, the insight of my trusted friends and my own gut to go out there and find it, and if it isn’t out there to be found, create it. On my refrigerator hangs a magnet which says “Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about CREATING yourself.” I like that. So, I go forth to find my place in this world…to create my place in this world. And I go in peace, hope and expectation, knowing that one day, probably when I least expect it—it will all come to full fruition.