GRATITUDE

I lie here again tonight and reflect on the week behind me. In many ways it was just an ordinary week for me. But, even an ordinary week affords opportunities for gratitude. Making the conscious decision to look at the positive things in life rather than focusing on the negative aspects that can all too easily come our way.

As always, I am grateful for my friendships. Without the love and support of my friends, I would not have been able to make the progress I’ve made in the last seven months or so. I’m enjoying reconnecting with old friends as well. I’m reminded of the people who have somehow been a part of my life, whether they be good friends or casual acquaintances. Each person that comes into our lives has the ability to leave their imprint on our lives. Sometimes it may take us years removed from them to see how much we have in common with them. I’m grateful for the friends in my life, be they near or far and am grateful for the lessons I have to learn from them.

I am grateful for the courage I found yesterday to write a letter to my parents. I believe I wrote a heartfelt and, most importantly, honest letter, letting them know what is going on in my life. I found it terribly difficult to put myself out there to these people who raised me, but are, in so many ways have become strangers to me. I don’t know what I expect from my raw genuine honesty. The thing of which I am most proud is that I wrote the letter and didn’t second guess my decision to mail it.

I am grateful for the season of Lent. While it has been difficult to truly summon the discipline to do all the things I had planned for this holy season. This week I have being learning to pray the Rosary, something which, in my eight years of being a Catholic, I have not learned to do. I’m forcing myself to do it each night, even when I don’t feel like it. I know that by increasing my prayer life at any point is a vast improvement and moves me so much closer to the presence of God.

I’m grateful for the feeling of peace between Parker and me. It’s almost surreal. The peace I feel is indescribable. It’s a peace that comes from somewhere deep within and somewhere far beyond me.

Here’s my confession: I’m still a work in progress, but I have so very much for which to be grateful. In addition to the things I’ve already mentioned, I am so blessed. I truly live a life of abundance. I’m most unworthy of such blessings. When I look at the tremendous blessings in my life, there is no emotion more prevalent than that of gratitude. It’s a deep and personal gratitude. For the first time in my nearly 35 years of living, I am experiencing peace. It’s a wonderful feeling, and I hope it stays forever. My friends, my counselor and my God have shown me so much about myself. Truly, letting go and letting God is the best place to be and affords a peace beyond my wildest imagination.