MOVING ON

The three of us were sitting there-Parker, the counselor and me. There was a bit of nervousness in the air, at least for Parker and me, for we knew what was about to happen. There was no malice, no harsh feelings, and no hostility whatsoever. It was an honest and open exchange. Since I have been seeing the counselor for the last several months, I let Parker do most of the talking, to share his viewpoint, his ideas. The counselor even commented that I was being much more quiet and subdued than normal, that I didn’t seem like “myself”.

It quickly became apparent that Parker and I were completely on the same page with our issues, that we were at the point of making a decision about our relationship status. Not an easy decision in the least, but we both knew the next step, we knew the answer. Meeting with the counselor was a mere formality, as it were, to confirm what we already knew in our hearts.

Here’s my confession: Parker and I officially decided last Thursday that we would separate as a couple. We will remain roommates, living in our home, sharing our pets, finances, etc., but are free to move on with our lives in which ever direction we see fit. He pledged to me that I am a member of his family, and that will never change. Our separation could not be more amiable. While our love has changed, it has not died. Our friendship remains in tact, something we are committed to continuing.

This evening we were talking on our way home from a dinner at his parents’ house. He and his father had a private discussion about our relationship status, so we were talking about it on our way home. His parents are such wonderful people and have welcomed me into their lives in such a way that words truly defy these last nearly five years. I truly feel as though I am one of them, and know that I do have their love and support in anything I do.

At the end of our counseling session, the counselor asked if either of us had anything else we would like to say. I pulled out my iPhone and read the blog I wrote a couple of weeks ago entitled “Eulogy for Love”, which is perhaps one of my most honest and poignant blogs ever. Both Parker and the counselor were visibly moved.

And so, I prepare to move along in many areas of my life. I prepare to embrace my life anew. I prepare to move forward in my relationship with Parker. And, deep down in my heart of hearts, I believe that our love cannot be labeled a failure, and I believe that our friendship is strong and mature enough to endure this setback. Isn’t that what love is all about, anyway?