WHY CATHOLICISM?

It may seem strange to consider that I grew up in a Southern Baptist family and went to a Southern Baptist college, and add to that the fact that I’m gay, that I am now Roman Catholic. After all, how does one make such a leap? We are talking about two extremes here.

Well, my faith journey began at an early age. While my parents were not much into going to church, my dad would take me occasionally. Most of my church experiences, at least the early ones, were with my maternal grandmother. As a teenager, I decided to join a church. Naturally, I followed the flow of my family and joined and was subsequently baptized in a small Southern Baptist church. I became very active with the youth group and music programs of the church sang in the choir, played piano and organ whenever needed. From the time I was about fourteen years old, church was my life. I was there every time the door was open, and sometimes even when it wasn’t. Then, it came time to choose a college. From the moment I heard about Cumberland College, I knew in an instant it was for me. And, so, I went. I thought nothing could be better—going to a Christian college. I would surely be sheltered from all the world’s sin and debauchery, right? Well, I had a rude awakening coming to me. Not everyone who attends a Christian college is a Christian.

So, as time went on, I matured as a person, and began to redefine my belief system. When I finally had wrestled with my homosexuality and prayed and prayed and prayed seeking peace and clarification, it became obvious to me, that my beliefs and those of the Southern Baptist Convention were not necessarily inline. One week and one day after I came out to my mother, I set out on a spiritual journey which would lead me to a large United Methodist church in downtown Knoxville, Tennessee. The moment I walked in, I sensed the presence of God in a way I had never experienced before. Maybe it was the Gothic architecture, maybe it was the A cappella voices of the choir as they began with their prelude. Maybe it was the majestic sound of the Aeolian-Skinner Organ. Maybe it was a combination of all of the above. Of this I am certain: God was present in my life at that very moment in a way that words will never do justice.

A number of months later, I joined the church by transfer of church letter. It came as a shock to my grandmother, and at the time I couldn’t be honest with her about my reason for doing it. I grew to love the beautiful liturgy, the structure, the message.

Then, about two years later, I moved to Birmingham, Alabama. I visited several United Methodist churches in the city, and none of them could possibly compare with my church in Knoxville. It was at that point, that I began attending Mass with my then-partner, who is Catholic. I joined the choir, and had no intentions of joining the church. Ever. Then, nine months later, I was sitting in the conversion class, awaiting confirmation at the Easter Vigil Mass in 2000.

Here’s my confession: I found a peace in Catholicism that I couldn’t find elsewhere. I found the beauty of the liturgy, the encouragement of the clergy. I found a place that didn’t base all of Christianity solely on the scripture, but considered tradition, something that for a long time I had been doing, but had been unable to find for myself. I often tell people I knew it was time to become Catholic when I no longer felt the need to go home and slit my wrist. My experience with Catholicism has been one of great peace, an affirmation of love. I’ve had several priests say that if you hear nothing else each week, you should hear that Jesus Loves You. One of my favorite Catholic hymns is “All are Welcome”. That’s exactly what Jesus came to teach us.

No, I don’t agree with everything that the Pope teaches. In stark contrast, I disagree with most everything the Pope has taught, but I don’t let that put a damper on my faith. My faith is strong enough to overlook the conservative views of the Holy Father.

I’ve written before, that I, like many American Catholics, am a Cafeteria Catholic. I think there is much good to be learned in the Catholic Church. It is where I, as a human, am able to connect with God. It is where I, as a gay man, am able to experience the love of God. It is where I, as a former Southern Baptist and United Methodist am able to bring those experiences with me so that I may be a better Catholic. I think that sometimes people think “oh, Catholics are weird people, following all their strange rituals, praying to the saints…” and on and on they go. That’s where ignorance comes into play. Yes, all those things are true of the church, but there’s a reason behind it all. And, that’s where I find peace, that’s where I find joy. And, in this season of Lent, I’m so thankful for the beauty of the liturgical season through the church’s eyes.

I have nothing against Protestants. Many of my best friends are Baptist. It’s all about finding your spiritual path, your spiritual journey. I’ve also found after attending a “Christian College” that there are really a couple of extremes that people fall into. They either become way over-the-top Jesus freaks or they lose their faith in organized religion completely. I suppose I’m one of the lucky ones who found a middle ground. I’m grateful for that, because I can’t imagine my life without the church.