I think if we are all honest, we want to know that when we leave this world that we will have left a positive mark on the planet—that we will be remembered for doing good, for touching lives in a very positive way. We want to live lives so that when we die the speaker(s) at our funerals won't have to lie about us just to speak well of the dead.
Am I doing something that matters? What a question! Where to begin? I know I'm doing something that matters when, after mass, a parishioner I don't even know, or a visitor, comes up to me to tell me just how much they enjoyed the music—or how much my prelude touched them. That's my goal each week, of course—to touch lives through my music. I know I'm doing something that matters when church choir members thank me for what I'm doing. I know I'm doing what I love and love what I'm doing.
I know that singing with the Magic City Choral Society matters. It matters to me socially, musically and even on a spiritual/emotional level. Singing with this group of gay men makes me proud, and makes a difference in our community—regardless of the color of our skin, our sexual orientations, the side of town where we live, what kind of work we do, how much money we have in our bank accounts. It makes a difference because music is our common denominator. It is something that matters because, on so many levels, our voices are heard. We are a witness to the world in which we live of the diversity of our community. The music we make, the voices we unite, are greater than that which divides us, both within our own gay community and the community at large.
Here's my confession: Most of my days seem rather mundane, and it's hard to believe that my day to day life makes a difference. I get up, go to my job, do the things I need to do and then do it again, day after day. Yet, I have to believe that what I do touches people's lives. I have to believe that I do make a difference in the lives of friends who entrust to me their secrets, their devotion, their love. I have to believe that what I do does matter to the generations of gay people who will come after me, just as those who have paved the way for my generation have done. While the things I do may be minimal, I have to believe that in some way, somehow, everything I do will matter in the life of someone else. Maybe it's just a smile, or a kind word or a simple note. My life has meaning and what I do with my life matters. I don't know how many tomorrows there are for me, but it is my hope that each day counts, that I find a way to live each day to its fullest, that I will be remembered as someone who truly mattered.
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2 comments:
While I feel that most people probably think of their own lives as mundane, it is what other people think of us that decides how much meaning our lives have. Your devotion to your friends is something that should always make you proud.
While there is truth in the statement that other people play a role in determining the meaningfulness of our lives, we can't rely on them to guide us to our own paths of meaning. The worth and meaning of each life is inherent to that life, as a gift of the generosity of the Creator. We should not live our lives with an eye to what others think of us, but of what we think of ourselves. Oftentimes, we never know in what ways we bring meaning to others' lives, and that makes our own life more meaningful.
All people are fickle, to some extent, and just as we know we fail ourselves, so we fail others and others will fail you. As long as you are true to the spirit of love and gift within yourself, your life will be one of meaning. Whether you know it or not, it will touch and enrich the lives of those around you.
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