Emotions run rampant, frustrations abound. Questions about the future remain unanswered. There’s a vision there, but it’s still a few steps away, just out of my grasp. There are moments that the scared little boy inside of me wants to lie down and cry, but I tears don’t flow. I blame a lot of that on my medication, and part of it in learning to just deal with life.
My life stays so busy…work…music…fitting in time with friends. Maybe that’s why the tears can’t find a time or outlet to flow. I stay on the go…there’s no downtime…
Here’s my confession. There’s a list of thing I’d like to accomplish a mile long. There is music I want to learn, there are friendships I want to make stronger, I want to be a better person. And, sometimes, I want to let down my guard, cry and get it all out of my system. When I can’t cry, I write, I play the piano. I find catharsis, and, I think, maybe that’s the important part.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
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2 comments:
I don't understand not being able to cry, because I pray often to get through one day without crying. You will find time to accomplish everything on your list you really want to do. The main thing is to continue to find peace in whatever way works best for you.
My therapist always tells me the name of a movie that will make me cry and orders me to watch it. Even if you aren't crying about your own issues, it will still help. Unfortunately, right now, I cannot come up with a good tearjerker. I'll get back to you....
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