THE REINVENTION OF ME

I’ve been on this journey of reinvention for nearly seven months. I’ve made so much progress. I’m far more confident, less anxious and more focused. I have a quest for something greater, a desire to grow. Many of you have followed me throughout my journey. Your words of encouragement have made the rough days easier, and made the good days even better.

Striking a balance in my growth is the difficult part. As I grow, I am finding so many things I really want to do, so many places I want to go. I’m focusing on five “F’s” to move and motivate me forward.

Future. My future is, to some degree, a blank slate. I want to go to school again. My Bachelor of Arts in music is just not enough for me. I'm resolved to be focused on finding the path for my future. Focusing on what I want to study, where I want to study, is definitely a goal as I move forward. I love living in Alabama. As you know, Parker and I recently separated as a couple. I’m sure at some point, I’ll be ready to add someone else new to my life, but now, I have to focus on getting to know myself in the here and now so that I can be ready for the future.

Friendship. I'm blessed with great and supportive friendships. As I continue to grow as an individual, I'm looking to renew friendships that have fallen by the wayside. Some of these friends are near and some are far. Regardless, I'm looking to reconnect with these important people. And, along the way, I'm open to the possibility of new friendships as well, because friendships hold the ability to enrich my life more deeply.

Faith. Unlike many of my friends, I haven't lost my faith, but my faith has grown stagnant. I am actively seeking to grow my faith. I love my Catholic faith, and while I go to church every Sunday, I know that there is room for growth. I’m focusing on different methods of prayer, and seeking ways to truly define what I believe. Today, my walk with God was put into question by a person from my past who told me they could no longer be my friend because, essentially, I am “immoral”. It stung a little bit, because it’s been a while, if ever, since I’ve had that happen. I may be gay, but I know God and I do know the Bible. I don’t claim to be an expert, but my faith keeps me grounded. Maybe the stinging words I received today were a reminder from God that I do know my faith, to stay strong.

Fitness. My fitness routine has really gotten out of balance. Lately, I’ve had to force myself to go to the gym. I’m taking baby steps to get back in the routine. I want to get into Yoga. It’s all about making myself do it. Focusing myself. There are so many benefits to gain. I’m not planning on gracing the cover of Muscle and Fitness magazine, but I know that there are many health benefits—both mental and physical—to be gained from a regular workout routine.

Financially. Money is tight these days. I am very good at saving money. Yet, my savings has dwindled in the last year. It’s time to find ways, perhaps creative ways to rebuild my savings.

Here’s my confession: To this point, I have done a lot of work on myself, but there’s still a lot of work to be done. There will be successes and setbacks, and that is ok. The key is to keep my eyes on the future and to not be hard on myself on those days that are not so perfect. I’ve learned a lot about myself in these last seven months. I’m excited to see where I’ll be seven months from now. One thing is for sure…I’m going to stay focused so that I can become the best ME I can possibly be.