AN APOLOGY

So, I awoke this morning and checked my email. Sleepy-eyed, I read my blog from last night and shook my head at what I had written. Sub-par! What started off as a good topic suddenly took a plummet into oblivion. What happened? I was on a roll. Well, the sleep medication I had taken kicked in somewhere around the fourth and sixth paragraphs. That, my friends, is why I must step away from the computer after I take the medication for the night!

As the day progressed, I laughed at my incoherency, my grammatical incongruities and the blatant abandonment of my faculties. Some may blame it on the alcohol, as a popular song suggests, but me, I’m going to blame it on the Ambien, and only a half a dose at that, for the Ambien, she’s the one to blame!

What I think I meant to say in last night’s blog is that the things I have learned over the last three months are some very important lessons. Everything you have can be here one moment and gone the next. What are left in the aftermath? Truth, wisdom, and a map to move you forward remain, if you will only surrender. It was in that surrender that I was able to give it all to the Divine. It was in that surrender that I found solace. It was in that surrender that I was able to pause in the quietness and take an inventory of my obstacles and blessings.

Here’s my confession: I apologize for subjecting you to a blog that was not my best work. I confess to you that in the last twelve weeks of life, I’ve been humbled by many experiences. I’m grateful for the kindness, love and support of friendships far and near. What tomorrow will bring, I know not. I do know that I’ve reached a place of surrender, and I feel an intense peace in my soul unlike any feeling I’ve ever experienced. It’s not about money, it’s not about being worried or fearful. It’s simply about learning to live, to let go of fear and frustrations. It’s about living and learning from both the successes and failures of yesterdays past. It’s about stepping boldly into each new today. While I’ve lost a few things over the last few weeks, that which I most cherish is what remains—you.