LIVING IN A CLOSET

LIVING IN A CLOSET

You’re probably thinking that this is another post about being gay, coming out and how that whole process changed my life. You may be thinking this is another one of those coming of age blogs. You may even be thinking this is one of those blogs about how I found my true self and how difficult it was coming to terms with my authentic self.
Actually, this is not a blog about sexuality. It’s a blog about spirituality.

I am Catholic. When I became Catholic ten years ago, I made a profession that “I believe and profess all the Catholic Church believes, teaches, and proclaims to be revealed by God.” Do I? No. It would be difficult to believe ALL the church teaches. And that’s not true of just the Catholic church, it’s true of any church. I grew up as a Southern Baptist and later became a member of the United Methodist church. I still find myself leaning on teachings from my days as a protestant. In some ways, I think it makes me a better Catholic. I’ve made no excuses over the years, I am a cafeteria catholic, as are most of the Catholics I know. We all pick and choose the doctrines with which we agree and dismiss the ones we find questionable or even asinine, antiquated or even impossible.

It would probably shock some people to learn that I don’t even believe that Christianity is the ONLY path to eternity. That, to me, is completely incomprehensible. If we take a brief survey of all the world’s religions, compare the basic tenants and compare and contrast them all…they all basically teach the same thing. We’re all trying to get to the same place. Buddhism pre-dates Christianity. Teachings of the Buddha are quite compatible with those of Jesus Christ. Spirituality is a deeply individual connection. It’s a connection, often, defying labels. The chief thing to remember is that God is Love.

Recently, I’ve found my spiritual fulfillment in the Episcopal church. Having worshiped on a few rare occasions, I’ve felt a spiritual connection and heard a message that I’ve been missing. The Episcopal church has been referred to as “Catholic Lite” or even a “kissing cousin”. That’s true. Our traditions are very similar, but the beauty of the Episcopal church is that, as I understand it, members are encouraged to pick and choose what they believe. I think that’s why we see so many “mixed” marriages between protestants and catholics or protestants of mixes denominations often “settle” in the Episcopal church, because they have the freedom to express their faith in the way they find most appropriate.

Here’s my confession: So, while I openly live my life as a Catholic, attend mass, take communion, accompany the congregation and find the ritual of the liturgy to be a beautiful thing, I am living in a closet. “Catholic” is a name I call myself. “Christian” is a label I sometimes apply to myself. Yet, more often than not, my beliefs and the beliefs of the “church” do not correspond with one another. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. What I do believe is that what truly matters is that you have a connection with the Divine. Your connection to the Divine may be found in a downtown cathedral, a tiny church in the country, or on a hiking trail in the Appalachian Mountains. Maybe your connection to the divine is found in music or the arts or any of thousands or millions of different ways. As long as you feel peace with the Divine, and you are following what you believe to be the truth, I am confident that you are on the right path. Remember, the “church” existed before the scriptures were even set forth. So, I continue, even as we prepare to celebrate the birthday of the church, Pentecost, to live in a spiritual closet. I continue to daily seek an experience with the divine and believe, hope and trust that the path I follow is the right path. Do you find yourself living in a spiritual closet, too? Pause and ask yourself where or what is your sense of the divine. I believe if you haven't taken a spiritual inventory in a while, you may be surprised at what you truly believe.