WHAT KEEPS ME GOING?

There have been moments in my life when I was ready to just completely give up, throw in the towel and call it quits, but somehow, I’ve managed to keep going. I guess we all have good days and bad days, and I think it’s even normal to ride the roller coaster of emotional ups and downs. Some days are just brighter than others—
it’s a fact of life. Some days you want to laugh all day long, other days, well, you’d rather just pull the blanket back over your head and cry all day.

What keeps me going? What is my motivation? It is my knowing that today’s trials are only temporary, and even if they aren’t, that somehow, someway, I’m going to end up exactly where I’m supposed to be. I think that’s what you call “Faith”. Faith is trusting in that which is unseen. I’ve had to rely on my faith a lot the last few months. Sometimes, I wonder if that’s why I’ve been allowed to go through this current situation.

What keeps me going? Relationships. It is those relationships with friends who do know everything about me, but still love me anyway. It’s the friends I’ve had for years who have seen me go through so many situations. It’s the people who know me well enough to know that I don’t always say nor do the right things, but my intentions are harmless.

What keeps me going? Dreams. While I am focused on living in the present, I do allow myself to indulge in dreams of the tomorrows. I picture myself in 5 years probably being exactly where I am. I have dreams of someone coming along who will blow my mind and sweep me off my feet. I have dreams of landing a dream job, actually a dream career, and I’m trusting that it will all work out for the better.

Here’s my confession: There have been times I truly felt so hopeless. I just wanted to make my exit form the life, but at those moments I feel something is coming down on me. I want a job, I want a relationship, and I want friends. I’m blessed. I have all of these, and seem to add a little more to the mix every day.