WHY I WRITE...

If you’ve been reading a while, or even if you haven’t, you’ve probably discovered that my main reason for writing is for catharsis. Writing is the way I am most able to tap into those most intimate emotions and feelings that I am either not able to communicate verbally, or have a great deal of difficulty doing.

This blog is a form of therapy to me. While I change the names of the people in my blog, including my own, the situations are real, the experiences are real and the joys and pains are real. The blog is a form of therapy, and I’ve invited you, my friends, to come along and journey with me as I sort through the things in my life.

I am, without a doubt, a truly blessed human being. I have some of the most exceptional friends that I can ever imagine. I have been blessed with many exciting opportunities and experiences in my life. Yet, if I’m being honest, there are times that I still feel alone. Empty. Worthless. It seems no matter how much I grow or how many changes come my way, the “old me” and the feeling of not being worthy rears its ugly head.

My friends tend to help me keep things in perspective. Some of them are often perhaps a little too honest, and some may say what they think I want to hear, but by and large, my friends have my best interests at the core of their advice and concern for me. I think that’s what love and friendship is all about.

I certainly have a wide variety of topics to belabor. Love Relationships, Work (or lack thereof), family situations and my weekly opportunity to reflect on gratitude are all reasons of why I write. Each of the topics gives me the ability to reflect on my thoughts, my feelings and tap into the emotions just beyond the surface.

Here’s my confession: Had I not been keeping the writing going, I don’t know what I would have done. My grandmother and I used to correspond on a really regular basis (via letters and cards sent through the United States Postal Service). But, she’s been gone for slightly over a decade. I imagine that were she still alive that our relationship would have changed dramatically. I would hope that I would be able to be open and honest with her, and would hope that she would be able to give me some of the most wonderful advice on how to be who I am and the many situations that turn my way.

While my struggles with my parents have been very weighty to me, while love relationships haven’t always been the most kind to me, and while employment has been a struggle the last couple of moths. It's the combination of my writings and my dear friends being my sounding boards until they were ready to throw up that have gotten me through it all.

I confess that one day, I hope that all the struggles will one day find their solutions. I confess that my life is one great big testimonies of how struggles impacted me, but that one day I’ll find peace.