CLEANSING

Merriam-Webster Dictionary online defines cleansing as “to rid of impurities, as if by washing.” That’s such a sobering thought, actually, as I contemplate my life of late. It seems as though much of my life the last few months have been spent in some way or another.

I suppose cleansing can take place in any number of forms. It need not necessarily be of a physical nature. It could be psychological, spiritual, or even emotional. In my case, I would have to say that I believe that I’ve been experiencing an intense amount of cleansing in my life so far this year.

I’ve been cleansed of a job that was no longer right for me. And while I do miss several of my colleagues, and no doubt miss the weekly paycheck, I actually feel better in my life because there is less stress, less worry, and less frustration about meeting seemingly insurmountable goals.

I’ve been cleansed of a relationship that, while it looked promising, turned out to be just a learning experience. I miss Wynn, and, while I am angry that things did not work out, I came out of that experience knowing more about myself and am more poised and prepared for the next relationship that comes along.

I’ve been cleansed emotionally. Losing my job allowed me to finally open up and shed tears that had been waiting to get out for quite some time. Emotional cleansing has also come through the writing of this blog, through feedback I’ve received, through speaking with my dear friends and family of choice. Each time I sit down at my piano to play, I experience a type of emotional cleansing as well.

Here’s my confession: I asked a friend tonight to choose my blog title and topic tonight. I think he chose a perfect topic. I’ve come a long way in my cleansing process, but there’s still so very much farther that I have to go. There are days I look in the mirror and am totally disgusted by the reflection staring back at me. I am learning to let the small stuff in life go and focus on the things that are important to me—my “family” of amazing, wonderful, supportive friends. I’ve learned that ultimate healing also comes from a power much deeper level through my spiritual life. Am I scared? Of course I’m scared. I have fears that run very deeply. But, I find such peace, simplicity and sincerity in my faith. As I seek other elements of my life needing the purge, I pray for patience, endurance and strength to do the times that I know are necessary in my life. Cleansing—out with the old and in with the new. I just